“John Snelson’s parents were very impressed at the support and care given to him in his final days at the Hospice, and they felt John would have wanted the proceeds of our fundraising ceilidh to go to St Ann’s Hospice.”Michael Billington, of the Madcap Ceilidh Band, November 2007 All quotations and photographs are used with permission.
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Support for male carers
Over a third of carers in the UK are men. This might not be a role men are used to playing or ever expected to have.
Taking on a caring role – or having one ‘thrust’ on you – can be a hard, confusing and frustrating experience. It can put a strain on relationships and extra pressure in other areas of life like work and finances. This page is for you! Take a minute or two to browse.
Top tips for survival
Recognise… you are a carer
This might not be easy… you probably see yourself first as a husband, dad, son, brother or partner. You still are all or some of these people, but recognising your caring role can open the door to other sources of help and support.
Tell people
Your business… is your business – but letting key people like your boss, the school, your GP and others who can help know about the extra responsibilities you are dealing with in providing care, will help them adjust their expectations of you and provide you with extra support. Treat this on a ‘need to know’ basis… you don’t have to tell everyone, everything!
Get help
You are entitled to an assessment of your own needs as a carer from your local social services department. There may be financial help available if your income drops or because of your caring role. Your local Carers Centre, Citizens Advice Bureau or national charities like Macmillan Cancer Support will be able to point you in the right direction. Don’t be afraid to ask the individual professionals you come across about sources of practical help.
Look after yourself
Caring can be tough. It can bring you down physically and emotionally. You can only keep it up, if you take good care of yourself. Try and get regular breaks from caring – not just once every week or so – but some time for yourself every day, if you can. Get relatives, friends and caring agencies organised to enable you to get out for a walk, watch the TV, read, go to see a friend… whatever it is that helps you relax.
Talk about it…
It is said that men don’t easily talk about feelings. Whether this is true or not for you, having the chance to ‘get it off your chest’ is important. It is often better to do this with someone not too closely involved so that you can tell it how it is. Your GP might be able to arrange someone to talk to, or you could check with the Carers Centre. Don’t be put off if the word ‘counselling’ is mentioned…this does not mean people think you can’t cope. Counsellors are trained to listen… just what you may need right now.
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